


Someday

by htmllost



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Gen, Illnesses, M/M, if y'all like it, maybe sequel who knows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-30 08:35:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6416479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/htmllost/pseuds/htmllost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan's hiding something from Phil. He's undecided and he hates this universe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Someday

**Author's Note:**

> Word for this one was 'Someday' as requested by anon on tumblr. Send me a word and I'll turn it into a phanfic.
> 
> Tumblr: insert-aesthetic-url

Dan was aimlessly walking around London, trying to get his head together.

Everything he'd ever done. The book, the tour, danisnotonfire… It was all about to come to an end. Everything he truly cared for, it was all going to go to hell.

_I mean, it's not my fault. It's just the cruel, cruel world._

It's about 8:30 pm and Phil would've started to worry. Hell, Dan was surprised his phone wasn't buzzing already. 

The streets were empty, except for the occasional taxi humming by. The orange lights cast long shadows around him and the soft patting of his own feet echoed. It wasn't cold in London anymore but Dan had a jacket wrapped around him.

_Oh, Phil. I'm so sorry._

He still remembered the day vividly. When _it_ happened.

He had been in Tesco when a blinding pain broke out in his abdomen. He had felt so nauseous that he doubled over and leaned against a wall.

He had abandoned his grocery shopping and contacted his doctor to set up an emergency appointment. She had agreed and he rushed to the clinic. Normally, he would've just gotten home and popped in some painkillers but he knew this was _different._

Once he got there, he explained the situation.

“Hmm, I see.” The doctor jotted down a quick prescription of medicines. “But, Dan, tell me if you've been experiencing anything unusual? Anything at all?”

“Well…” He thought for a bit. “I don't have much of an appetite these days, which is weird for me but I still force myself to eat. I've lost a bit of weight, I'm not really sure why. Also, I get nauseous almost after every meal.”

“I see.” She had bit her lip like she was hiding something. “I'm afraid I have to ask you to come in tomorrow for some tests. I hope it is not a problem?”

He had agreed, bought the assignment medication and headed home.

When Phil had inquired the lack of groceries, Dan explained what had happened. Phil expressed concern but Dan convinced him it was just a tummy ache.

“So, is Daniel finally starting his period?” Phil had joked.

“Shut up, you spoon.” Dan retorted. 

Dan got himself checked the next day and, of course, he didn't tell Phil his whereabouts.

“The reason I called you in again, Dan,” his doctor had informed him after his tests. “Was because I suspected a bigger illness behind your symptoms.”

“And what do you suspect?”

“Pancreatic cancer.”

A week had passed since. He hadn't breathed a word to Phil.

_You worry too much. It's probably nothing._

Phil noticed how _off_ Dan was. No amount of pizza, anime or _Phil_ lightened his mood.

“Dan, are you sure you're not on your period?” Phil had tried to joke.

“No, you dildo.” Dan tried too, half-heartedly.

The tests came in. They confirmed.

Dan wanted to scream at universe. Tell it that _this wasn't fair._

That night he had gone out and gotten drunk. He wasn't sure why. He just felt that he needed to. Several people had tried to make a move on him but he had shrugged them off.

 _I have Phil. Besides, I can't. I'm_ broken.

Dan had stumbled home, intoxicated as hell. He had tried to be soundless but in reality, it had probably sounded like chucking a wardrobe down the stairs.

And of course, Phil had stayed up worriedly. And of course, he rushed to help Dan up the stairs.

“Shh, don't tell Phil I'm drunk.” Dan had slurred.

“Phil already knows.” He had walked Dan to his bedroom and laid him down on the bed.

“The universe is mean to me, Phil.” Dan had already been half asleep.

“I'll have a stern talk with it.” Phil had affectionately tucked him in bed. “Now, sleep.”

Dan didn't know what to do. He was just wandering around the city, scared out of his mind. _Why did it have to be this way?_

He wasn't stupid. He knew how bad cancer was. Especially his. Dan didn't want Phil to go through it with him.

He could almost imagine Phil's face if he told him. His face would drop and he'd give Dan _those_ eyes. 

Dan wouldn't be able to deal with it.

But, he _should_ tell Phil! He was Dan's boyfriend, for fuck’s sake.

Dan ran his fingers through his hair, his hands were shaking. If he left, Phil would have to deal with telling the fans. 

_Telling them what?_

Anything but _this._

Dan wanted to laugh. 

The tour was coming up. Would he abandon that too?

Dan sighed and decided to take the underground.

_To where?_

Anywhere. 

He pulled out his phone and typed a quick text to Phil.

_**To: Spork <3** _

_**You know I love you, right?** _

His phone buzzed almost instantly.

_**From: Spork <3** _

_**Of course <3 when will you be back?** _

Dan pocketed his phone even though he hated ignoring Phil.

He arrived at the train station and decide to get off the tube.

_Really, Dan? This is what you're gonna do?_

_I don't know, I don't know!_ He wanted to shout.

He hated this. Everything had been so perfect. The tour, the book, the radio show, Phil…

_Fuck this._

He finally decided.

He got on a train to Wokingham. He'd return _if_ he would be well again. Phil didn't deserve this.

He typed out another text and sent it.

_**To: Spork <3** _

_**Someday.** _

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So I did this to raise awareness on pancreatic cancer after my friend's mom got diagnosed with it. I'm sorry it might not have been what you probably wanted but yeah.


End file.
